Is It Worth The Risk? Seriously? Part 2 of 3

(This blog continues from Part 1...)

Two Reasons Why We Need To Flee The Internet

[Note: by Internet I am referring chiefly to the not-so-humble but ever-so-ubiquitous web browser]

There are two reasons why, as a general rule, we should use the Internet only sparingly — when the Internet and the Internet alone can help us accomplish what would be much more difficult or expensive to accomplish by any other means.

#1 Reason To Flee...

(Surprise, surprise...) It's Sex. I know this is hardly news to anyone with a pulse, but even so I provide two examples from this past week.

Anecdote #1: (Average What?)

I recently blogged that the Average American now watches 37 hours or so of TV each week. I'm happy to report that I first ran across this piece of news on printed media — my weekly news magazine which for some odd reason is still interested in providing real news about real world events and trends. (This is getting more and more rare! Witness the decline of U.S. News, Time and Newsweek... But I digress...)

But the number was so amazing... Really? 35 hours a week? Five hours a day??? So I went to a google shortcut and typed exactly this much...

"average

And as soon as I typed a space key....

The first auto-complete options started to render...

Number one choice? "average penile length"

A curious child might end up in a very strange place if they had gone with that first hit. Not a few adults might end up there too. I was tempted to go myself. So... just out of curiosity... what is the answer?

But I don't need to know that!!! And it's not the question I had set out to answer!!!!

But now that you mention it... what is the answer? I think I know what the answer was! But the answer I have in mind is from years ago. Perhaps since then it has changed? Just one click to find out!

Anecdote #2: (Have You Heard The Latest On...?)

I spoke with a work acquaintance today. He lives in Franklin, TN. We chatted about the recent flooding in Nashville, and after we hung up I decided to hit Google News and check up on that Nashville flooding and the oil spill in the gulf. The news I sought was right there at the top. Nashville water and Gulf oil. Top two articles. Perfect!!

But, oh look! There is another option right next to them! Fox on Sex: The Allure of Vibrating Panties. A shimmering blue hyperlink, just waiting for me to click....

(Isn't it appropriate that hyperlinks often start out in crisp and bright blue but then turn to a much more murky and muddy color after you click on them? It's hard to get the blue back. Kinda like what happens to your soul. But I digress...)

In light of these two anecdotes, I ask this simple question: Is my weird little parable from Part 1 of this blog (the story about The Perfect Bookstore) really very far off from the world we live in now?

I submit this answer: Not at all. Not at all.

Would we send our children into The Perfect Bookstore to buy us the newspaper? NO!! Do I feel safe leaving my child alone with Google News? NO!!

But never mind the kids. What about us? We mock the folly of allowing young teens of the opposite sex to spend time alone together in remote places. Then while we're alone we hit the Internet, looking for something interesting to read. Is that any wiser?

Curiosity and a yearning for hidden knowledge is what got humanity into the mess we're in! And now a it's a national hobby to troll through web pages littered with links-of-knowledge carefully designed to tempt the curious.

So... some risks are worth taking. What is our reward for exposing ourselves to such a barrage of temptations? What is our reward for surfing the Internet? If we're lucky, our reward is nothing more than a generous dose of whacked out news that we didn't need to read in the first place.

Oh! Did I touch a soft spot? Was someone thinking the Internet posed no dangers to those who avoid the smut? Not at all. Not at all. As the old saying goes, "If the devil can't make you sin, he'll make you busy." The Internet can keep us busy for the rest of our lives. Facebook could do most of the job all by itself.

#2 Reason To Flee...

Reason #2 is Idle Entertainment. (And you thought IE stood for Internet Explorer!) We must flee this trap with no less urgency than we are to flee sexual temptation. And since Internet news and random surfing is a heck of a lot more respectable than porn, our growing addiction to it is widely undiagnosed. Internet news and Facebook, my friends, can be as addicting as sex. Well... close, anyway.

Think I'm exaggerating? Well then! Give them both up for two month and tell me about your experience when you're done. Not keen to try? (The psychiatrist on the sofa begins scribbling down notes furiously...)

(This blog continues with part 3...)