Saturday, December 2, 2017

Steak Knives In Our Pockets

We wouldn't do it, right? Walk around with sharp steak knives in our pockets? No. Most of us wouldn't.

We don't put them among our bedsheets, either. Not unless we're planning to re-enact one of those scenes from a movie we never should have watched in the first place. No. Most of us wouldn't.

We don't carry sharp steak knives around. It's just not something we do. Steak knives are great in the kitchen. Not so great in our pockets. So many places they don't make sense. So many ways to hurt ourselves.

We tell children, "Don't run with scissors!" Yeah. We keep the scissors in special drawers and try to keep kids from running around with them in their hands. Problem is, scissors and steak knives are bloody useful, if not always useful bloody. That's why kids like scissors. And adults need knives. What to do.

So we came up with the idea of sheaths for the especially sharp knives. You know... those things that make knives hard to use except for those brief moments when you need them? Yeah. Sharp and dangerous things come with protective wrappings. To keep those blasted things from doing their thing on the wrong things.

If only we had as much wisdom with our phones. We don't just run with them. We do everything with them. More or less. Less, too. We do less, and are less, every day on account of them. We arrive at hell unaware of the road we took to get there. Too busy watching the lit screen to realize the ticket we bought a few miles back.

People are worried about rampant opioid addiction? Opioids? They only taken down 1 out of 100.

Opioids and steak knives have got nothing on the cell phones we carry in our pockets. Those phones? They're not sharp, but they sure are smart. And the people who make them, too. They're smart enough to get rich off our stupefying spiritual poverty.

If we were smarter, we wouldn't be so stupid. And we'd be richer for it.