A Feast! And Only Half the Dishes are Poisoned!

In our home we celebrate "non-digital" Sundays. This generally means no iPads, no iPods, no computers... but it also means no TV. Since we pretty much never watch any TV anyway, this last exclusion is of little consequence to anyone in the family.

Yesterday, however, was Superbowl Sunday.

Should we make an exception?

Sure.

So we turned on the TV at some point a bit before half-time just to see where things were at. Maybe catch a funny commercial or two?

But as we turned the TV on, a recurring concern surfaced yet again in my thoughts. "What else might we see?"

At first, things went well enough. As the TV powered up we found ourselves watching a bit of footage involving an elderly fellow with a cane demonstrated some nifty skateboarding tricks in front of some ogling young teen boys. Cute.

The next footage was just goofy. Some old dude with a pool stick shooting Hellman's mayonnaise off a display stack and onto the floor in a supermarket. "Corner pocket!" he declared. Time to change channels and find that game.

Next channel was on commercial break. Gyrating scantily clad women danced next to a car... Hmm... My four young children (and one boy not young enough!) are staring at the screen. Time to change channels. Fast!

Next channel was also on commercial break too... I think? Hard to say. All I know is that the old lady was in a driveway explaining with a gleam in her eye that she never went anywhere without (and I quote) "six young scantily clad men." The camera panned back to reveal that she was, like the ark of the covenant, being borne on a 2-pole litter by six buff men. Yikes! Change channels. Fast!

The next channel was displaying home-video footage of an extremely obese woman trying to ride a scooter down a cement walkway adjacent to the side of the house. She careened from side to side and eventually hit her head on the cement base of a window located at eye level. She fell backward off the scooter, obviously in pain.

I told my wife to turn the TV back off.

We didn't end up seeing any of the game, but I heard this morning that it was pretty close.

This time next year maybe we won't even bother to turn the TV on.