Nice Girls Don't Change The World

So I had just finished a reflection on the word Power and shortly thereafter headed off to the local swimming pool for a lazy Memorial Day afternoon with the family and friends.

I sat down next to the wife of a dear friend and asked her what she was reading. She smiled and said, "Have you ever had that situation where someone gave you a book and told you that you should read it?" Then she flipped the cover over and I read the following title: Nice Girls Don't Change The World.

And... how ironic is that? I had just gotten myself to the point where I was ready to accept the notion that God's greatest power shows up in people who are, well, to quote myself verbatim, "Female and frail."

Do I retract everything? I was definitely forced to rethink my fresh new thoughts. Here before me was a very godly woman who seemed to be connecting with a book that encourages her to go out and be strong. And do something more male-ish... Change the world.

Well I did give it a bit of thought, because the circumstances demanded it of me. I didn't say too much to my poolside friend, but the thought rattled around in my head a fair bit.

And here is my conclusion: while I definitely felt it was good counterbalance to my radical notions of the day, I think this book (whose contents I've never read) is yet more of what I no longer believe.

Nice girls don't change the world. Agreed.

But the other girls don't either. And neither do pushy men change change the world. I'm inclined to say that God changes the world, or no one does.

And what, in the end, does it mean to "change the world", anyway? I don't like the phrase anymore. I'd rather focus on blessing the world, but this is equally beyond my reach. God can bless the world. I can bless a few people.

And once I'm down to something a little more possible, and a little more do-able, all of a sudden I am back in the realm where nice girls suit the task very well, thank you.

This is no quibble about the doubtlessly good intentions of the author of this book I speak of. And of course behind the phrase "nice girl" is surely some notions that we'd do well to dispose of as quickly as possible. God's prophets were anything but "nice boys". If by nice we mean "useless", "milquetoast" or "not one to rock the boat" or other such things of that nature, then "being nice" is indeed not the goal.

But if by "nice girls" we mean children who grow up to be "nice women", the sort of women who pours themselves into loving their husbands, their children, their neighbors, and indeed demonstrating compassion for needs beyond their community, then for myself I hope to raise two "nice girls" and two "nice boys".

If God's power is to be revealed in patient endurance, per Paul's prayer for the Colossians, I don't have any immediate problems with the word nice. I do, however, see immediate red flags in the phrase "Change the world".

Why? because that phrase begs me and entices me back to that mindset in which I believe again that by force of will and exertion I can fix the world and make it better. That, I think, is God's job, and one that is done (mysteriously) more through my patient endurance than through my might and great deeds.

So a toast again to Mother Teresa, whose quiet service left a mark that endures yet in the minds of people like myself. I suppose God did indeed change the world through Mother Teresa.

But I sincerely doubt that was the goal she had in mind when she headed to the slums of Calcutta to minister to dying, nameless souls.



[Post-Note: A few hours after posting this reflection I found myself googling Mother Teresa and reading a bit more about her in Wikipedia. How delightful to run into this quote there...

When Mother Teresa received the Nobel Peace Prize, she was asked, "What can we do to promote world peace?" she answered "Go home and love your family."

Amen, dear Teresa. Amen.]