When Clean Words Don't Do Justice

Occasionally my thoughts grow dark, and what I want to say to others or to God seems to lack communicative power... that is, unless I permit myself to salt my comments with a few choice words that wouldn't pass the family-friendly filter test. Add that extra word or two, and suddenly I feel like I have really said how I feel. Suddenly I feel I have been more truthful about how I am feeling.

At times like these, and I had one a day or two ago, I found myself reflecting on the usefulness of coarse words. Occasionally they seem almost the right word — le mot juste. Without them, I have failed to communicate what I am feeling.

But this morning as I returned to this reflection (yes, after having shared rather bluntly with the Lord how I felt about an injustice I am being subjected to) I realized (I think) that there is a better way to approach the matter.

When clean words don't suffice, I think it's wiser to conclude not that I need to salt up the language a bit, but rather to conclude that I have discovered a place in my heart where I desperately need healing.

In short, coarse words are not part of a healthy diet, but rather a thermometer. My sense of need for them provides an indicator of my spiritual condition. I'll know healing has occurred (in part or in full) when I can speak, and do justice to my thoughts, without feeling a need to use coarse language.

To stretch the analogy a bit further, my use of course language is going to be about as helpful to God and to others as a coughing fit in the presence of the healthy. They'll know how I feel... and if they are wise, they'll take a step or two back from the stuff coming out of my mouth.

Armed with this new insight... I now return to prayer. I obviously need some pretty serious healing in a few spots....