I Am An H...

I had a great idea the other day... to buy a set of books that I was sure my kids would love. I could read them aloud. Probably all four kids would be able to enjoy them! That's hard to pull off, given the span of ages!

I found the books listed on Amazon at a shockingly good price. A 5-book set of paperbacks for just $4.00! Too good to be true! Better still, by ordering a few other books at the same time (a few future birthday gifts for me!) I pulled this coup off with no shipping expenses. I completed the order and began my UPS vigil.

The awaited box arrived in due time, but disappointment soon spoiled my moment of glory. The order indicated a 5-book set. So did the receipt in the box. But the only thing in the box (for the kids) was one lonely paperback.

I was ticked.

I had been looking forward to reading the books to the kids!

So I began to fiddle around online, looking for a way to tell Amazon in so many words that they had screwed up. That they needed to make me right. That they needed to get me what I'd ordered... and soon! I deserved no less. Even if they had to buy the paperback set of books at a loss from someone else...

The online clicking eventually led to a phone call from an Amazon representative. As the conversation began, I was professional enough in my word choice, but I didn't sound like a close friend. I suppose I sounded at least a little bit like someone who had an axe to grind or like someone who had missed their morning coffee.

In order to figure out what part of my order had gone missing, the woman on the line began to recite the books that should have arrived in the box. This annoyed me a little bit, because the problem item was the last one listed on the packing slip. No matter. My chance to gripe was coming, so I bit my tongue while she recited off the other books on the list which I had ordered for myself.

What's So Amazing About Grace

As she finished the first title, something went Click! in my head.

The Jesus I Never Knew

By the time she'd finished reciting the second book title, my conscious thought had caught up with the frantic efforts of my sub-conscious mind.

Good grief! With books titles like those on my order, how could I proceed? Not only did my planned speech need to be re-thought, but my attitude as well.

Shame crept over me like a damp fog. Recollections of my most recent blog flooded my thoughts. Hadn't it been about being willing to not only die with Christ, but stay dead? And here I was about to get rude with an Amazon representative about a mislabeled book order.

I shifted gears quickly and proceeded to work out details with the woman politely. Arrangements were made for the return of the solitary paperback, but I didn't breathe a word about getting a replacement book set for no extra cost.

After I got off the phone, I went online again and ordered the same set of books again, but this time I paid some $20 plus shipping.

As I worked these details out, I found myself humming an old tune I haven't sung in a very, very long time.

It's a children's tune. The words are as follows....

I am a C!
I am a C-H!
I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N!
And I've got C-H-R-I-S-T in my H-E-A-R-T and I will...

And so the song goes. Spelling out who we are. Most of us who went to Sunday School at some point will have heard this song.

But as I hummed, the version I was working on went like this....

I am an H!
I am an H-Y!
I am an H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-T-E!
Cuz I write one thing in my blogs and do another when logged off...

Thanks be to God that there is grace to be had for hypocrites.

1 Timothy 1:15
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.