The Bravest Person I Know

It was only few days ago that I tossed out a reflection centering on Psalms 37 and 73.

As is my wont, I kept regurgitating it in my thoughts even after it was written and done.

Within 24 hours I knew I had left something out.

The hardest part.

It's bad enough when there are bad guys. The problem of wicked men. I had focused on this for the most part while pondering these two Psalms.

But I knew within a day that I'd left the hardest, cruelest cut out of the picture.

The problem when there is no bad guy to blame.

Sickness. Natural disasters. When things just go wrong for no particular reason. The wrong turn that puts a vulnerable car in front of a speeding 18-wheeler.

This didn't sit well with me, and I thought perhaps it would be worth revisiting the matter. But I wasn't in a hurry. Why would I be?

That was Tuesday.

Last night, Friday night, just three days later, I got a call at around 9PM. The night's winding down. Who's calling now?

Just the bravest woman in my world.

Joan, I'll call her.

Apologizing. Apologetic. So sorry. So sad to intrude. So hesitant to ruin my evening with the uninvited bombshell news that her brain tumor had returned. Would I be interested to meet with her and a few friends on Saturday morning, seeing as she was going under the knife again on Wednesday?

We both knew the reality. This might be the best chance we'll ever have to chat again freely and easily. I told her there was no way I'd miss it.

Thus it was that I met an old friend again today. The bravest woman in my world.

You would think that we had gathered for her birthday. You would think we had gathered to celebrate.

During our long phone call the night prior, she could have been mistaken for a counselor checking in on a patient. How was my wife? How are our children? How have we been? She wanted to know that we were all well.

Now we were with our dear Joan in person. And she was more of the same. Full of smiles. Reflecting love. Caring. Facing a timeline not of her choosing.

"We all know of righteous souls whose lives were cut short, ending in heart-wrenching tragedy."

I wrote those words on Tuesday. Was it just four days ago? Four days? And here before me, in living color, is a righteous and good woman facing a personal tragedy whose dimensions I cannot begin to empathize with. I don't have a clue what she's feeling. A woman who has the right to ask God a few questions.

Psalm 37: (excerpted)
Take delight in the Lord,
   and he will give you the desires of your heart.
The blameless spend their days under the Lord’s care,
   and their inheritance will endure for ever.
In times of disaster they will not wither;
   in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.
Turn from evil and do good;
   then you will dwell in the land forever.
For the Lord loves the just
   and will not forsake his faithful ones.
The righteous will inherit the land
   and dwell in it for ever.

Joan has a right to ask God what exactly He meant by those promises. I don't yet, but Joan does. Now.

And yet Joan seems to have chosen a different route. She's focusing on being thankful for what she does have. Focusing on the continuing love she has for those around her.

It's not like Joan doesn't have a care in the world. Not at all the case that she's not lost in the confusion of why she must walk through this valley. She does wonder. She is worried. She is troubled. But she's still the bravest soul I know. In the midst of it all, she trusts God to sort it out in the end.

That's pretty much what David and Asaph (authors of Psalms 37 and 73, respectively) were saying too. Does it seem like some of their assurances are not holding true for Joan? Like she's not exactly getting the package David and Asaph seemed to be promising? Who can argue otherwise.

And yet. And yet. Joan is practicing what they preached.

And she has a joy that is not to be found in the faces of those who have no hope. Not to be found in the faces of those who trust in science alone to deliver the answers to the big questions.

Scientists like to point out that at the center of every galaxy is a huge black hole. And they're probably right.

But Joan knows that at the center of the universe is Jesus Christ.

Therein lies the difference.

Does she have all the answers? No.

But Joan knows the secret. And the secret is this: Keep your eyes on God, no matter what.

She's the bravest person I know.

Hebrews 12:1b-2a
And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.

37 vs 73

Psalm 37 is very beautiful.

But when I'm honest, it's not entirely convincing.

What do I mean? Here's an example...

Psalm 37:10-11
A little while, and the wicked will be no more;
   though you look for them, they will not be found.
But the meek will inherit the land
   and enjoy peace and prosperity.

These are comforting words when left unexamined, but they are harder to swallow when put under the glare of a spotlight.

Everyone knows there are wicked people out there who seem to live long, and live large. Not to say we'd want their lives. I wouldn't trade. But it's not like such people are hard to find. Some of these sorry souls have serious longevity! What's worse, we all know of righteous souls whose lives were cut short, ending in heart-wrenching tragedy.

So... what am I to make of Psalm 37 and its claims? If I'm honest, I must admit that sometimes it seems that the opposite is true.

Psalm 73 to the rescue. Flip the digits around and you have the story turned around too. (I confess I'm always pleased by mathematical parallels...)

Psalm 73:3-14
For I envied the arrogant
   when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
They have no struggles;
   their bodies are healthy and strong.
They are free from common human burdens;
   they are not plagued by human ills.
Therefore pride is their necklace;
   they clothe themselves with violence.
From their callous hearts comes iniquity;
   their evil imaginations have no limits.
They scoff, and speak with malice;
   with arrogance they threaten oppression.
Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
   and their tongues take possession of the earth.
Therefore their people turn to them
   and drink up waters in abundance.
They say, ‘How would God know?
   Does the Most High know anything?’
This is what the wicked are like –
   always free of care, they go on amassing wealth.
Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure
   and have washed my hands in innocence.
All day long I have been afflicted,
   and every morning brings new punishments.

So... this just in. I'm not the first person to struggle with "the party line" that is sometimes evident in the Psalms and elsewhere in scriptures. Asaph (the author of Psalm 73) lays it out on the table: he too grapples with the struggle of doubt that sometimes besets us all.

[Sidebar comment: As Christians, we are sometimes afraid to question aloud anything that the Bible says. It's God's holy inspired word. Will our honest questions undermine the faith of those around us? Most endearingly, Asaph shares our fears. In the next verse he notes...]

Psalm 73:15
If I had spoken out like that,
   I would have betrayed your children.

So let us revel in this paradox: A Psalmist in holy scriptures who is afraid lest he contradict... holy scriptures. And another paradox. If? Asaph did speak out like that. It's all there in the Psalm! Very funny, in a quirky way.

But moving on. What happens next? The wicked are not supposed to prosper... but they do. Does Asaph escape this conundrum? He does. Let's read on.

Psalm 73:16-17
When I tried to understand all this,
   it troubled me deeply...
till I entered the sanctuary of God;
   then I understood their final destiny.

In the verses that follow, Asaph reverts to the assurances of Psalm 37. The judgment of the wicked will come suddenly. But note that he doesn't say when!

Perhaps Asaph is suggesting that we put our stopwatches and our eyeballs to better uses.

Paradoxically, the ultimate solution to the mysteries surrounding wicked men seems to center around focusing our attention instead upon our good God:

Psalm 73:23-28
Yet I am always with you;
   you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
   and afterwards you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
   And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
   but God is the strength of my heart
   and my portion forever.
Those who are far from you will perish;
   you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
But as for me, it is good to be near God.
   I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
   I will tell of all your deeds.

My heart resonates ever so strongly with these words.

The wicked perplex us... Sometimes they last a long time... Sometimes the assurances of Psalm 37 seem hollow...

But along with Asaph I find my peace in turning away from the wicked and toward God's sanctuary.

Perhaps we should not be surprised that David, author of Psalm 37, begins with this same advice.

Psalm 37:1-4
Do not fret because of those who are evil
   or be envious of those who do wrong...

What do we do instead?

Psalm 37:4
Take delight in the Lord
   and he will give you the desires of your heart.

These two Psalms turn out not to be so different after all. They offer the same exact advice.

First, turn away from the wicked. Pay them no heed. (Once you do, the timing of their eventual judgement will cease to occupy your thoughts!)

Second, focus on God. Seek God. There alone will we find true peace.

And when life here is ended? We'll stand alongside Asaph. And David. In God's presence. In his sanctuary.

That's a good way live. That's a good way to die. And that's a good way to live again.

Careful What You Grasp For

"You've been grasping for the wrong person's attention, Pilgrim."

I spoke these words to myself a few days ago, but it could equally have been the voice of God speaking to me.

Over the prior week I had engaged myself in an exercise which had the potential to gain me praise and admiration from other people.

The time spent in this exercise came largely from the more solitary moments of my day... from times when I would normally have been fellowship with God. Prayer had gone out the window during that time span.

It was only in the pause after I finally had everything ready that I gave greater heed to the voices of caution in my head.

They had been speaking all along. Asking me what I was after.

The results of my labors might have raised my reputation a bit... but at the cost of dinging someone else's reputation by the same amount.

The good advice of a good friend came rumbling though my head...
A question to ask yourself before entering into a conflict...

"What is it that you hope to gain from this exchange?"

I had no good answer to the question.

That's when I began to ponder what it was I had been grasping for, and why, and at what cost.

I had been grasping for the attention of strangers. To gain recognition at someone else's expense. At the cost of my grip on God and lost prayer time.

Not a good exchange, and I knew it. So I dropped the project.

That was where I left it a few days ago, but then this morning in two different devotionals I happened to flip through I ran (twice) into a reminder of the only verse in scripture where we're told what exactly Jesus himself grasped.

Or did not grasp, to be more specific.

Philippians 2:6-8
Who, being in very nature God,
   did not consider equality with God something to be grasped
rather, he made himself nothing
   by taking the very nature of a servant,
   being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
   he humbled himself
   by becoming obedient to death—
   even death on a cross!

Ouch.

I, a mere man, had been seeking to become something.

Jesus, God himself, sought to become nothing.

The passage preceding these verses only added salt to the wound.

Philippians 2:5
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

But note the verses following the passage.

Philippians 2:9-11
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
   and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
   in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
   to the glory of God the Father!

God is a God of ironies and paradoxes indeed.

I had been seeking significance, and it wasn't a good thing.

But Jesus had his eye on even greater significance, and it was good.

The difference is that that Jesus was willing to become the ultimate servant and to die on a cross in order to reach his goal.

I had not been engaged in that game.

Legendary golfer Bobby Jones said of Jack Nicklaus (after watching Nicklaus win the 1965 Masters) that he "played a game with which I am not familiar."

I might say the same of Jesus.

But if I'm after significance, it's encouraging to know that Jesus was too. The question that remains is...

Am I willing to get familiar with the game Jesus played?

Wanted, But Not Needed

Needed, but not wanted
Despair marks the spot
Stripped of our value
We know we're not sought

Needed, but not wanted
Better than nothing at all
Perhaps not by much
Or perhaps not at all

Needed, but not wanted
We have something to give
But ourselves we must keep
And alone we must live

Wanted, but not needed
Not for talent nor wealth
Nor beauty of youth
Things that time steals by stealth

Wanted, but not needed
Inmost being so cherished
That when all else is gone
Our value's not perished

Wanted, but not needed
Full joy without measure
When in God we discover
One who grants us this pleasure

Wanted, but not needed
God can well do without
Yet he wants all the same
He still seeks us out

Wanted, but not needed
This God does enthrall
He tirelessly seeks us
Without needing us at all

Thought For Food

Some trade-offs are sensible.
Not the off trades we've made.
Purchasing vanishing vapor
for the real things we gave.

The terms of the barter
are ever so clear.
We receive our addictions
in exchange for things dear.

Anesthetized well,
we don't see what we've lost.
Unaware to the end
of what it will cost.

Real flesh for an image,
Marriage bed for a bust.
We trade people for porn,
Seasoned love for streamed lust.

We don't want what is real
much preferring the dream.
We want only the sugar
not the health food between.

TV and no exercise...
we prefer the glazed gaze,
leaving sweating to those
who by commercials are paid.

These habits don't leave us
when we enter the church.
We expect the same deal there,
leaving Christ in the lurch.

We seek sermons that tickle
and worship that throbs,
but avoid all hard service,
giving pastors those jobs.

The church seasons we've tossed
but we still keep the feast;
greedy to own all the pleasures,
glad to rent apostles' grief.

Their grief turned to joy
to grief has returned.
Heaven sees what we do,
what we think we have learned.

"Let's gather to celebrate!
Jesus vanquished the tomb!
And because the deed's done
we can stay in our womb.

The great Houdini Jesus
has freed us from the law.
Now we can sit back
and suck life from a straw."

Black holes cased in flesh
we miss the mystery of sin.
We keep endlessly taking,
filling nothing within.

Taking cue from the prodigal
we seek only to feast.
We're consumed by consumption,
turned to dough without yeast.

We are blind how this grade
to our tomb gives us pull.
Wonder why we're so empty
with stomachs so full.

Like cows on conveyor belts
who never quite lived
we consume to our end
unaware what we'll give.

Consumed by consumer gods
at whose shrines we were served.
Thought ourselves the consumers
right up to the last curve.

Mandelbrot Jesus

I was reading an excellent biography on Dietrich Bonhoeffer last night and went to bed having discovered that back in the 1930s he practiced something known today as lectio divina.

Lectio divina involves taking a small portion of scripture (perhaps only a single verse) and spending a lot of time digesting it and reflecting on it.

If you google the phrase lectio divina, you'll find about 1.5 million web pages that mention it. Hardly novel stuff, right? But back in the 1930s this practice was not only weird, but scary weird. Bonhoeffer's good friend and world-class theologian Karl Barth wrote him a letter expressing great concern over what Bonhoeffer was doing, teaching his students this practice!

Which goes to show that even world-class theologians don't have a lock on the truth.

Thankfully Bonhoeffer trusted the scriptures to do their work and did not give in to outside pressures pushing him to abandon the practice.

But all that is prelude.

This morning I woke up and thought, "I'll stare at.... at... 1 Peter 1:19. For at least five minutes. And see what happens."

I had no idea what the verse would say. I had randomly picked the reference out of the dark airs surrounding my bed.

So here it is:

1 Peter 1:19 ...but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.

Wow. Not a lot to work with. Not even a complete sentence! So I did cheat a bit and read the surrounding text too! But I focused on the verse itself, and after a bit a new idea began to form.

It had been brought to my attention once that, when Jesus entered Jerusalem for the last week of his earthly life, God was playing out a new version of the Passover. Note God's instructions to the Israelites, given just before the first Passover in Egypt.

Exodus 12:1-6 (excerpted) The Lord said to Moses and Aaron in Egypt, "...Tell the whole community of Israel that on the tenth day of this month each man is to take a lamb for his family, one for each household. ... The animals you choose must be year-old males without defect ... Take care of them until the fourteenth day of the month, when all the members of the community of Israel must slaughter them at twilight."

Jesus entered Jerusalem on Palm Sunday. I'm not good at ancient calendars, but it's my understanding that it would have been on this very day that Jews through Israel were bringing lambs into their homes. For inspection.

Jerusalem was, for the Jews, quite literally "the city of God," so it's no stretch of words to say that on Palm Sunday God brought Jesus into his own home. For inspection.

If Palm Sunday was the 10th day of the month, the 14th day would have been Thursday/Friday. (New days begin at dusk by Jewish reckoning.) So on the very night that Jews were eating their slaughtered lambs, Jesus celebrated the Last Supper with his disciples. A Passover meal. And a few hours later Jesus himself was slaughtered. A sacrificial lamb.

So as I read 1 Peter 1:19, it was clear what Peter meant when he chose those words. In the prior verse Peter begins the sentence by saying that we were not redeemed with silver or gold but rather with... the Passover lamb.

So I began to reflect on God's sense of overlap. What we have covered here is not unusual. God clearly likes to echo and prefigure past and future events, respectively. It'd be a distraction to list them all, but there are many well-known examples of this sort of thing to be found in the Bible.

If anyone wants to know God's next big move, rest assured it's already on display before us. Some version of the future has already been played out in miniature before our very eyes.

So the last week of Jesus' life was a reenactment of the Passover, taken to a whole new level.

On display for a week in Jerusalem, God's city. Examined. Sacrificed.

Were there any other things like this?

Well, in a sense, it could also be said that Jesus' whole life was also a reenactment of the Passover redemption.

On display for 30 years in Israel, God's nation. Examined. Sacrificed.

Ok. Did the pattern bear any further repetition?

And then the thought struck me.

We, the Church, are also an embodiment of Jesus Christ. We carry on his very work, carry his name, and we too have been brought forth, brought into a home that is not our normal abode.

Are we also an even larger scale re-enactment of the Passover? If so, this is a sobering thought.

On display for an era on Earth, God's planet. Examined. Sacrificed.

No, it's not entirely a pleasant thought, but it does fit the tenor of the New Testament, with no due respect to televangelists and Prosperity Gospel proponents.

Are we, the Church, on an extended Passover display? Is this the "week" before a time of persecution the scale of which has never been seen before? (If so, this is bad news for pre-Trib rapture enthusiasts.)

But I'm not here to argue end-time scheduling.

I'm just reflecting on Mandelbrot Jesus.

These reflections may not stand closer examination, and the end is in God's hands. But as for the rest, the pattern fits. There are many verses to support the notion. For example:

Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God...

So the notion of us, the Church, being sacrificial materials is not at all foreign to the New Testament, however strange it may appear to modern eyes. It's all there, for those with eyes to see.

Yes, we have been brought forth on Earth. We are in a home that is not our own. And we are being examined. Peter said as much himself, just two verses earlier...

1 Peter 1:17 "Since you call on a Father who judges each person's work impartially, live out your times as foreigners here in reverent fear.

A Feast! And Only Half the Dishes are Poisoned!

In our home we celebrate "non-digital" Sundays. This generally means no iPads, no iPods, no computers... but it also means no TV. Since we pretty much never watch any TV anyway, this last exclusion is of little consequence to anyone in the family.

Yesterday, however, was Superbowl Sunday.

Should we make an exception?

Sure.

So we turned on the TV at some point a bit before half-time just to see where things were at. Maybe catch a funny commercial or two?

But as we turned the TV on, a recurring concern surfaced yet again in my thoughts. "What else might we see?"

At first, things went well enough. As the TV powered up we found ourselves watching a bit of footage involving an elderly fellow with a cane demonstrated some nifty skateboarding tricks in front of some ogling young teen boys. Cute.

The next footage was just goofy. Some old dude with a pool stick shooting Hellman's mayonnaise off a display stack and onto the floor in a supermarket. "Corner pocket!" he declared. Time to change channels and find that game.

Next channel was on commercial break. Gyrating scantily clad women danced next to a car... Hmm... My four young children (and one boy not young enough!) are staring at the screen. Time to change channels. Fast!

Next channel was also on commercial break too... I think? Hard to say. All I know is that the old lady was in a driveway explaining with a gleam in her eye that she never went anywhere without (and I quote) "six young scantily clad men." The camera panned back to reveal that she was, like the ark of the covenant, being borne on a 2-pole litter by six buff men. Yikes! Change channels. Fast!

The next channel was displaying home-video footage of an extremely obese woman trying to ride a scooter down a cement walkway adjacent to the side of the house. She careened from side to side and eventually hit her head on the cement base of a window located at eye level. She fell backward off the scooter, obviously in pain.

I told my wife to turn the TV back off.

We didn't end up seeing any of the game, but I heard this morning that it was pretty close.

This time next year maybe we won't even bother to turn the TV on.